TO DURBAN.....AGAIN

The Telkom Knockout Final venue in South Africa was not met with the usual “Durban again” social media outpouring of misgivings and virtual emotional tweeting, status updating and instagraming that comes with previous announcements. I put this down to the small fact that not many of the social media intellects know where Princess Magogo Stadium is. The location of the township where upon said stadium is also not known to those who do not get to watch Uzalo on SABC 1. These are of course the middle class citizens who get watch everything on Explora and such other devices. Kwamashu is indeed in Durban and therefore meaning that another cup final is going to Durban, as per the level headed people at the plush offices of the Premier Soccer League.

For years we have been told that the criteria to getting to the decision of where a particular final will be played out is that all interested municipalities put in a bid and the most appealing of these will the nod from the league. The two teams that are in the final are consulted, apparently, and then a decision is made. The word apparently is not just thrown in there dear reader. It just seems rather strange that a team that does fill a 5000 seater stadium would want to move it`s small group of followers more than 600 kilometers towards India for trophy final. Bidvest Wits and Bloemfontein Celtic have wonderful support, it has to be said. However it`s a wonderfully small support. Don`t let the loud singing fool you, only the minority turn up for those away games. So why would Bloemfontein Celtic and Bidvest Wits agree to play a big final in a foreign province that involves a lot of travelling for their beloved fans who can and will bring atmosphere to this Telkom Knockout final. Why?

The Etekwini(that`s the politically correct name for Durban) municipality seems to be the one that submits the best bids year in and year out, so I think that part of the criteria should really be done away with unless we just say that Durban is the official ‘Finals’ venue. The Cape Town municipality has long shown that it has no care whatsoever for the nationally loved sport of football. They also noticed the empty stadiums at 99.99% of the league games. The 0.01% is taken up by the derby. Cape Town is the only one that could maybe compete with Durban as the city is also tourism orientated. Putting Polokwane up against Durban for a bidding competition that weighs heavily on expertise in tourism is just like putting that guy who was knocked down in 6 seconds in the ring with Floyd Mayweather…..

So the two major pillars of the criteria to making the decision of where to take a final have little holes in them. I have also heard that the stadium`s ability to handle those Very Important People is also of immense importance. The stadium has to have adequate hospitality facilities so that those in charge can sell off ninety minutes of football at mind boggling prices. A seat in the hospitality suites can set you back a measly R5995 when Kaizer Chiefs and Orlando Pirates are on the pitch. Now let us not talk about the hospitality suites at the Princess Magogo stadium and just say I do not a lot of VIPs making their way there. Moreover Uzalo has made us believe that those very expensive automobiles are stolen pretty quickly by the likes of Mastermind.  So the hospitality suites angle falls by the wayside, as far as I`m concerned. So why, oh why did the stakeholders to the final take it to Princess Magogo? The acting CEO of the PSL is from those parts, or at least her club is but apparently she has very little say in such matters. The president is also of KZN origin but I do seriously doubt he would dip his fingers in that cookie jar. Surely it`s way too small for his hands, no matter how greasy they might be.

Could someone be benefitting from throwing every other final in the direction of Durban? Did Shaka Zulu leave behind instructions that finals were to be held in Durban or else all the maidens from all the other tribes in South Africa would be collected and married off to Zulu men?

Whatever the reason, someday somehow somewhere someone needs to explain why we keep having to travel towards India for finals.

AMAKHOSI TKO`D

During the warm Kaizer Chiefs` veteran striker, Bernard Parker showed lethal precision by hitting the same spot twice. George Maluleke showed his precision by netting all the shots that were teed up for him by the trainer in charge of the drill. The spot that was hit by Parker was a fan that had seated himself on the dusty stand behind the goals at Bidvest Stadium. The first time he was hit it was all giggles and smiles and waves, the second time he was hit I think he did not get in time wave or smile. Point is, Parker missing the nets during warm turned out to be omen as the Kaizer Chiefs strikers went on miss at least four very good chances on their way out of the 2017 Telkom Knockout. Zuma covered up his one on one miss(wonder where he got that from....surname is a hint...) rolling on the turf in absolute pain.

But let`s talk logistics for a while. The stand where the trophy that the two teams were playing on this sunny Saturday did not make it to the stadium. Young men in various swag attire unwrapped the stand with great haste only to find that the trophy that was to sit on said stand was not around. One in saggy swag made a quick phone call and there was shrugging of shoulders from various other young fellows and the show went on. Maybe the winners of TKO from last season are yet to bring back the silverware. I am reliably told it is the only trophy in their display cabinet but enough about Cape Town, for now.

It was a rather absorbing game of football or soccer for all you Yankees. The entrance of a trio of yellowbones in very small shorts caught my eye for a second or two(the wife allows me to look!) so I cannot tell whether Egyptian striker Amal Gaml fell of his own accord or was dropped in the Chiefs area rather early in the first half. I did, however see the entire Bidvest Wits and Kaizer Chiefs benches arise in unison. Gavin Hunt kicked and threw both hands to the heavens while Steve Komphela gestured the sign that a ticket be handed out to Gaml. Referee Gomes is a bit of a penalty giving specialist. All he did in this instance was to rush over and instruct the irate Hunt to calm down.

Willard Katsande, who usually gets a yellow just for walking onto the pitch received one of those kicks you see on WWE a while later. As resilient as his country`s president, the Zimbabwean immediately rose and continued. In fact he was fit enough to go into a challenge with his studs raised just a few actions later. A bookable offence. Young Meyiwa ran interference and in the process put his studs on the foot of the player that had been fouled by Mr Katsande. Eviction! His defence stands that in the act of getting up he put his foot on a leg.... he may need Barry Le Roux to get that red card rescinded. Katsande went in hard on the ref and fourth official, pleading that he was the one who committed the offence. Little did he know that referee had forgotten about him. His customary yellow card was shown to after Meyiwa had trudged off the pitch towards the change rooms.

Straight from that unfortunate incident Bidvest Wits scored what was to be the deciding goal. The head of striker Keene doing the damage. That same head was to be later bloodied by a rather enthusiastic Malongoane. The vertically Chiefs winger climbed all over Keene as he took his duties of doing the right back`s job after the sending off to great heights.

After the break it was all about Kaizer Chiefs strikers missing very good chances to equaliser and even go in front and of course Keene getting bloodied and then being barred from re-entering the field after the Bidvest Wits kit team produced a number-less jersey. The kit manager rushed inside to do some quick fire laundry on the bloodied top before the striker could be allowed back on to the field. All this while the Chiefs fans called for Gomes` head for wasting time.

There was no calling for Steve to fall after the game, with quite few Phefeni Boys fans shouting their support for Steve Komphela and stretching their hands for a handshake with the clean shaven coach.

All that was left was for me to try and figure why our food packs and a fork, spoon and knife inside....? It was the same organisers who left the trophy and brought the stand after all...  

They Become Awe-rdinary

I like Gavin, or let me say I have a liking for Gavin Hunt. He is the current Bidvest Wits coach for those of you who do not have inkling about what I`m talking about. I actually once sat rather close to Gavin one night and had the luxury of drinking a Heineken while he downed a Castle. We mumbled a few odd words to each other but because of what we were consuming I cannot remember what it is we talked about that day. That night is not the reason I have a liking for the man.
I have a liking for the way he takes forever to come back out of the dressing room for a post match interview when his team has lost to give one word answers and look absolutely upset. It`s the complete opposite when a victory is registered. I have a liking for the way he will grill a reporter if he smells that the unfortunate journalist does not have all the historical facts.
It was this same Gavin Hunt that was asked what he thought about Benni McCarthy`s wonderful start to his coaching career out in Cape Town with Cape Town City FC.
"...Wait until he's done 1000 games like I've done, or maybe 1200 games like I've done, then we will see.."

At the time reading reports all over the South African Fourth Estate were overflowing with how Mr

McCarthy had wonderfully well in Cape Town. It was like he had won the EUFA Champions League. 
Before the MTN8 Final came to pass, almost all the stories and posts on that major newspaper Twitter were about Benni winning his first trophy. It was like Benni was doing it all by himself at Cape Town City FC.
Forget the fact that this was the same, bar a very few, group of players that were put together by the erstwhile Mushin Ertugral at Mpumalanga Black Aces. Kaizer Chiefs and Orlando Pirates fans will remember what that team used to do their blood pressures. Forget that Eric Tinkler had gone into Cape Town and won a cup with that team. I can tell you that Tinkler was not mentioned half as many times as Benni and poor old Tinkler had actually won the Telkom Knockout.

The media in South Africa looked at Benni in awe. This man has Cristiano Ronaldo on speed dial! He was on the pitch for a EUFA Champions League Final! You can imagine a young seventeen year old player at Cape Town City hearing that Benni was going to be right there with them everyday! Hhai maan! The great Benni McCarthy? The one who scored 4 goals at a Africa Cup of Nations tournament?!? Awe. That`s how the players looked at their new coach. Then it happened.

A man who can shout obscenities in a place full of cameras is either brave, angry or angrily stupid. What an action like shouting about one`s mother does to one is it brings that person down to the level of those that do it as well. So when Benni had to be restrained as he went on a shouting war with players he became 'one of the guys' to all those players that looked at him in awe.

Benni McCarthy became an ordinary rookie coach who went on make mistakes like not playing the correct players 'I should have played Patosi...' 'Maybe I should have....Teko...' and so forth and so forth. The players that looked so awesome at Cape Town City now looked awe-rdinary.