PIC OF THE DECADE!

MID SEASON REPORT CARD PART 1

It`s really not mid season yet but it`s close enough for us to take a look at the 16 teams` performances thus far! This is my report card so only my opinion matters!

MAMELODI SUNDOWNS - 8/10


The rich and stylish ones from just up the road from me have flopped in the domestic cup competitions so far this season. However they have been stronger in the premiership marathon. Their loss to Pirates might have come as no surprise but to lose to Wits and Amazulu is almost unforgivable for a team with so many coaches. However they have managed to win games that in seasons gone by they surely would have lost. To get six points out of a possible six away in Cape Town is quite achievement even for The Brazilians. There does not seem to be a problem in the scoring department. Khenyeza/e, Mushekwi and Mphela are in the top ten goal scorers chart. The defence has not been as excellent, though. Eight goals in just twelve games is below standard for a team of this caliber. The coach in charge of the defensive department has some work to do in the new year!

KAIZER CHIEFS – 7/10

VV had his party with the media and it looked like it might end badly. A couple of wins and trophy later all was forgotten and he is smiling at press conferences again. The Amakhosi seem to have a problem every time they are to face Orlando Pirates. They lost to Santos and Vasco Da Gama just before going to thump the Buccaneers, banging in three goals each time. The problem with Chiefs so far is that they only have one striker that is capable of scoring at the moment. In fact Knowledge Musona has created most their chances so far! The defence has done very well so far, letting in the least number of goals (7) in the league so far. So from the looks of things, as long as The Mighty Amakhosi keep Musona fit and on the pitch they should fine.

ORLANDO PIRATES – 7/10

Ruud is a man constantly under pressure, even though the Buccaneers` ship sits in third. It is the pressure that comes with losing to Kaizer Chiefs, twice! The defeats came too close to another and The Ghost were up in arms! No matter how much he denies it, he had become the most predictable coach in the league. Every Tom, Dick and Harry knew that Tlou would be coming in for Mabalane or Klate around the 70th minute. There were even rumours that a certain Histro was poised to take over Krol`s seat. So I, for one, am quite happy with the Dutchman for being where he is on the log. Pirates have four players with two or more goals, which is a good thing. That mistake prone defence of theirs has only let in nine goals. Andile Jali and Clifford Ngobeni get a special mention for what they did to Sundowns, Ajax and Supersport.

AJAX CAPE TOWN – 5/10

Do not be alarmed. Five is a very generous score, considering the amount of talent that in this team right now. Fanteni is becoming a terror again, Serero is at his best and Sameegh Doutie has scored 3 times already this season. There is so much potential in this Ajax time that if they were to play to it`s fulfillment the league would by now have been sent to Cape Town only to await presentation to Hans Vonk. Scuffles with officials, celebrating before the win is secured have contributed to Ajax being in fourth instead of first! The youth will always be problem, neh Mr President?



BLOEMFONTEIN CELTIC – 9/10

It`s not how many time you fall that counts but how many times you can pick yourself up and soldier on. I am very happy to see the Siwelele up there with the top teams. When the season started they looked a sure bet for relegation but they have managed to steer well clear of those murky waters and are actually nearer to the top team than to the bottom team in terms of points. Clint Larsen is a gentleman. He has taken his losses were one would have expected them to lose anyway but were there were points to be had Celtics have made sure they collected the maximum. If a couple more of their youngsters step up to the plate those loud, jolly people from the Free State could just gate crush the big three`s party. Well done Mr Larsen and co.

GOLDEN ARROWS – 6/10

I miss the flowing football that Arrows had spoilt us with in the past. The new man in charge is adding some hardness into S`thende Boys` style of play. This is not entirely a bad thing but we just love our entertaining soccer. I expected more from this team and they just have not quite been there for me. The team has a god blend of youth and experience and should really be up there with likes of The Happy People. Having added Siyabonga Nkosi to that squad one really expected Arrows to kick into fifth gear long before the halfway stage.

SANTOS - 8/10

There is nothing to say about The People`s Team really. They have been their usual solid selves right from the start. They look like they are always playing for a draw and most of time they get it. Six out of their 12 games have ended in draws. This a team that knows it`s strengths and they play to them. Boebie Solomons knows what he wants to achieve and he sets out his team to achieve his set goals. Well done to you Mr Solomons and your squad of dedicated players. Special mention must go to Tyrene Arendse for his untiring work in all parts of the field. He really is the epitomy of a true captain.

VASCO DA GAMA – 10/10*

We touted them as the “has beens” of South African soccer, the spent forces looking for somewhere to earn their retirement funds. It looked like all the forgotten stars of the game were going to end up in this team. It looked hopless, or so we thought! They are proving us wrong in a big way. Subisiso Zuma has 6 goals. Jonathan Armogam has weighed in with threegoals. A certain Joseph Kamwendo has scored 2 goals for the new boys in the league. Something will have to go horribly wrong if these guys are to end up back in division one. They took Pirates and Sundowns all the way. Indeed it took a few days for some Sundowns players to recover. Some could not recover enough for the next game, which a quarter final against Maritzburg United. We know happened there. They shocked the Mighty Amakhosi ! The strike force has covered up for what the defence has let in, having scored 16 goals so far. This is one more than the defence has allowed into the net. So from me, it`s a standing ovation for the men from The Mother City and a star for the number one performers so far this season.

A LAST LOOK INTO THE CHRISTAL BALL FOR THE YEAR 2010!

It is the last round of matches before the players can take a break from premier league soccer. Usually they come back with weight problems, injuries from playing in money games and all sorts of other ailments. Soccer players are generally a naughty bunch! Before they go and indulge themselves, let us look at who will be having the last laugh in 2010!

GOLDEN ARROWS vs AJAX CAPE TOWN

It`s fourth vs fifth, so there is relatively no pressure on the two coaches. It will be up to the players to make this one a very exciting game of football. Both teams have a lot of youth in their ranks so there will be a great deal or running during the ninety minutes mixed in with missed chances and silly mistakes. There are always goals when Arrows meets Ajax. Most of the foreigners will already be thinking about the journey home which could afford us the chance to see own goals, back passes etc, etc.

Golden Arrows win.

SANTOS vs SUPERSPORT UNITED

The only good thing about Supersport so far this season has been their band. The coach has pointed to the sick bay as the major reason for the champions’ poor showing so far. Maybe after Christmas they can empty the sick bay and get more players on to the field of play. Santos have gone about their business the same way they always do and will be looking forward to taking three points into the break.

Santos win.

FREE STATE STARS vs BLOEMFONTEIN CELTIC

Those vocal fanatics from the Free State are going out with a derby!It will be packed to the rafters. It will be loud. I would advise the coaches not to shout out instructions from the touchline, no player will be able to hear them. Larsen versus Khompela! Depending on how hot it will be, this should be another cracking game! The singing ones are on top of e la koto on the log and I`m sure they will want to enjoy they Christmas dinners knowing they have kept them there.

DRAW.

BIDVEST WITS vs MARITZBURG UNITED

For some reason, I expected more from Maritzburg this season. I must have been under the influence of something. They are right where their performances have put them, relegation zone! The learning ones will look to take advantage and go into the festive season smiling. Mazinyo.com might not be coming back to coach the team of choice next year. A loss to the students might mean that the coach will be carrying a lot more bags than originally planned.

Wits win.

MAMELODI SUNDOWNS vs AMAZULU

The Zulus have not impressed me this season. I really thought they would not be where they are now, but there are there so I must stop dreaming. Sundowns usually get better as the season goes on. This time they have started strong and if they maintain this form, the title will be send to Chloorkop a lot earlier than May. It is important to remember that Sundowns have this tendency to lose or draw the easy looking games!

Sundowns win.

MPUMALANGA BLACK ACES vs KAIZER CHIEFS

The Amazion will no doubt be reminding anybody who cares to listen this Christams that they beat Orlando Pirates. That win is about the only high in an otherwise disappointing first half of the season. When thinking about this game one must remember that Chiefs have fallen to Vasco Da Gama, Free State Stars AND Santos. These were games that looked like walkovers before the referee blew his whistle for kick off.

Kaizer Chiefs win.

VASCO DA GAMA vs MOROKA SWALLOWS

Vasco are lying ninth on the log and Swallows are sixteenth. It really should be the other way round but, alas dear reader, it is not the other way round. If they do not manage to go into the market and get some decent players, Swallows will be playing in the first division next season. This is a fact. The Cape Town outfit will not show any mercy, neither will the weather. We must acknowledge that The Dube Birds earned themselves a draw in the Mother City not so long ago. Maybe this time they can go one better and surprise themselves and of all of us!

ORLANDO PIRATES vs PLATINUM STARS

The only thing the Buccaneers have to guard against in this game is complacency! The coach did his best to show us that he is not “predictable” in the game against those hapless birds. He still rang his changes at almost the same time he always does but at least it was not the same old players coming out or going in. Ndumiso Mabhena will hopefully have the correct size boots on this time and will aim for the net rather than the security personnel.

Pirates win.



So, dear reader all that is left now is for us to wish you all a wet Christmas and soccer filled New Year!!!Till 2011………

THE QUOTABLE ROY HODGSON!

The first six months of Roy Hodgson’s reign as Liverpool manager have seen him contradict himself and deliver more gaffes than you can keep track of.




Thankfully briankettle has done the hard work and compiled the best (should that be worst) of them here. Sit back and watch six months fly by with Uncle Roy telling the stories of how we are overstaffed, or is that a small squad? How we need investment in January, or we don’t? How winning at Bolton is famous, how Raul Meireles doesn’t have a specific position, how Northampton are mighty opposition and numerous other quotes you would never wish to associate with a man in the position of Liverpool FC manger.



4 July: “I like a high-tempo passing game”

All the things I’ve always liked are the things Liverpool were famous for in their heyday. Pass and move, always move it quickly and once you lose it get back in to position. That was the mantra which took Liverpool through their great years. I like a high-tempo passing game. I like players to work hard, I like players to get back in position. Those are my principles. I was influenced by the Liverpool team which dominated the 70s with all its great players and playing the football they played.



5 August: “Look into the mirror rather than look for excuses elsewhere” (On player complaints about squad quality)

As a player you have a chance to change things. If you don’t think the team is doing as well as it should, as a player you can do something about it. If you are a big player, maybe you will. My attitude is that we want our big players because they will help the team to win. Now if they are not playing well and not helping the team to win, I will be advising them to look into the mirror rather than look for excuses elsewhere and blame the owners for not having spent £500m.



13 August: “It was a very simple decision when I heard he might be available”

Christian (Poulsen) is an all-round player. He is capable of scoring goals, a good passer of the ball and a good defender too. I don’t see him being limited to one particular role. For me, it was a very simple decision when I heard he might be available at what we considered to be a very reasonable price.



9 September: “Unbelievably overstaffed” (After beating West Brom)

We were unbelievably over-staffed when I came to the club and, if the truth be known, we still are over-staffed. It was just as big a job making sure some of the players who never feature for the first team move on and that we limit our squad to players who are either in the frame to play first-team football or who have a bright future who are still anxious to play academy and reserve team football.



9 September: “He’s a good player and he’s the right man for the job” (On Konchesky)

There aren’t many quality left-backs around in the world, never mind in England – so to find an English one who can go straight into the team without any adjustment problems is a big advantage. He is a player I know, a player I have worked with and he knows the way we try to play and the things we try to do. That’s another little advantage, but the main reason for bringing him here is because we think he’s a good player and he’s the right man for the job.



10 September: “We’ll have ample quality to see us through” (see also 30 October)

I preferred to put my weight behind David Ngog and Ryan Babel, who’s never really been given a proper chance at centre-forward at the club. We have Fernando Torres, we have good players who can play behind a lone striker. I’m hoping that between now and Christmas we’ll have ample quality to see us through that period. And in the meantime we have chance to do thorough scouting so that if the money is available, we could look into the situation again. I will be using David Ngog and Ryan Babel in certain games to give Fernando Torres a rest and it’s up to them to prove to me that there’s no need to look further than them.



20 September: “It is very early for me to make very strong judgments about where his best position is” (On Meireles)

He had two training sessions and played on Thursday night and he played again on Sunday so it is very early for me to make very strong judgments about where his best position is. The work we do on the training field will show me how best to use him. He actually went out wide right late in the United game and did okay there also. All I can say is he has a lot of qualities and I’m sure we’ll get a lot of use out of him.



23 September: “These players have to accept responsibility” (After the defeat to Northampton)

These players have to accept responsibility. I accept responsibility for changing a lot of players in the team, I did it because I honestly thought the players I put on the field were good enough to win the game and they weren’t. The obvious conclusion to that was I shouldn’t have changed that many players but we should have been strong enough to get a result. We must all take our responsibility. I am just bitterly disappointed that the team I had so much faith in did not repay that faith this evening with the exception of one or two performances.



24 September: “The protest does not help”

The protest does not help but it is something I have had to live with since I came to the club. I, like everyone else at Liverpool, would be very happy if the ownership situation was clarified and in particular if we got a very good owner that could help us move forward. It is a major issue for a group of people who are very much anti the owners and anti the current people who are trying to solve the situation. I knew the situation existed before I arrived and it doesn’t help. But it is often the case that when things are conspiring against you there is always an extra thing to come in and make it that little bit worse.



25 September: “I didn’t think it was necessary to say it” (On not responding to the Torres “diving” accusations, six days prior)

I didn’t think it was necessary to say it because it was insulting people’s intelligence. For me, it was one of Alex’s inflammatory little digs to make his victory even sweeter and our defeat even harder and that’s part of the game



3 October: “From Halmstad to Malmo to Orebo to Neuchatel Xamax…”

What do you mean do my methods translate? They have translated from Halmstad to Malmo to Orebo to Neuchatel Xamax to the Swiss national team. So I find the question insulting. To suggest that, because I have moved from one club to another, that the methods which have stood me in good stead for 35 years and made me one of the most respected coaches in Europe don’t suddenly work, is very hard to believe.



3 October: “I don’t understand questions about Liverpool and Fulham players being different types”

I don’t understand questions about Liverpool and Fulham players being different types. At the moment arguably one or two of the players that are suggested as being very different to the Fulham players maybe aren’t playing any better than the Fulham players played. So maybe people should be having a look at that.



17 October: “Feted as one of England’s best managers”

I think it would be a sad day for football and for Liverpool if someone who had been brought in with the pomp and circumstance, and the money it took them to release me from my previous contract, and being feted as one of England’s best managers – if after eight games people are deciding this guy has got to go. It would be sad for me. These things happen in football. You can’t have the years in football I’ve had without ever being sacked, but it would be a sad day for Liverpool because that isn’t Liverpool’s style. So I find that type of question insulting to me and even more insulting to the club.



18 October: “As good as we have played all season” (After the woeful loss to Everton)

That was as good as we have played all season, and I have no qualms with the performance whatsoever. I only hope fair-minded people will see it the same way.



21 October: “We will cross that bridge when we come to it” (On rumours of Torres to Manchester United)

I think we will cross that bridge when we come to it. There will always be speculation. When a great player like Wayne Rooney is looking to leave his club, then you know Manchester United will be in a position to target a lot of players around the world. I don’t think Fernando will be the only striker they target – and I don’t think we will be the only club worried that their striker is in their sights. I am not naive enough to believe that there won’t be any danger and we will never lose a player like Torres. I understand these things can happen. I don’t believe we will lose him.



29 October: “It’s all to do with how good your scouting and your eye is”

I think you can pay an awful lot of money for poor players and you can pay not very much money for very good ones – it is all to do with how good your scouting and your eye is. There are a lot of things here that the club has got to get right. We have got a lot more expensive failures on our list than good players that we have brought in for next to nothing. Free transfers don’t necessarily mean that you have got a bargain. My experience of them has been very mixed. You need to be sure that the player you get can do the job you want from him.



30 October: “They can’t all be wrong and we aren’t that stupid either”

A club like Liverpool shouldn’t have to rely on non-specialists like Dirk Kuyt or Ryan Babel ‘doing a job’ up front when they are primarily wide players. …The first thing people say when I walk down the street is ‘We need a front player’. They can’t all be wrong and we aren’t that stupid either.



30 October: “That’s what he’s good at” (On Dalglish)

He is doing a great job alongside us and we involve him in our scouting while he still works at The Academy and plays an ambassadorial role. That’s what he’s good at.



31 October: “A famous victory” (1-0 at Bolton)

Today was a famous victory because we hadn’t won more than once away in the whole of 2010. When you’re down the bottom, and keep being reminded you’re down the bottom, anxiety kicks in.



31 October: “He was here in name but not allowed to set foot in Melwood“

When they wanted me for the job, I made it clear to Kenny that he would be with me – not like with Benitez, when he was here in name but not allowed to set foot in Melwood and it was ‘we don’t want anything to do with you



12 November: “He’s not that bad on the ball”

Unfortunately I can’t do anything about the fans, but he’s (Poulsen) had one or two games in front of our crowd where he’s not played well and he knows he hasn’t. He is devastated by that and the crowd, who aren’t stupid, know he’s not played well. It’s a fact of life. He can only keep working hard and when he gets his chance he has to get on with his job. He had a job to do against Wigan and without his introduction, with a very tired Maxi Rodríguez and Dirk Kuyt, who knows we could even have lost the game. But he’s got quality, he’s a good defensive midfield player. He’s not that bad on the ball, but let’s not beat about the bush and try to disguise the fact – he’s had a bad start.



13 November: “He’s not performed — very often at least — to the level I’d expect of him”

(Johnson) is the England right-back and, if he plays like that, one would expect him to come back in when he’s fit. But then he’d have to play like the England right-back and up to now, to be quite frank, he’s not performed – very often at least – to the level I’d expect of him. You would have to ask him ‘do you think you’re playing at top form and are you playing like the best right-back in the country for your club?’ If he says yes, obviously we will have to agree to differ and if he says no, then you’d have to ask the question ‘why not?



14 November: “I didn’t realise I had been accused of criticising him”

It amazes me that when you make a statement of such obvious veracity people want to make headlines out of it. Everyone is saying what I am saying. I hope I am honest and I hope the players are honest. I didn’t realise I had been accused of criticising him; I don’t normally criticise my players and I’m sorry if that has been suggested.



26 November: “We won’t need to do too much in the January transfer window” (After beating West Ham)

I have a very clear picture now of what we should and need to be doing and the squad is stronger and getting stronger. It was probably stronger than I realised at certain stages in the early part of the season when we were losing games. Hopefully that will mean we won’t need to do too much in the January transfer window



2 December: “He isn’t a naturally confident character” (As Joe Cole returns from injury)

He isn’t a naturally confident character. He suffers when things are not going his way. Everyone at the club has worked hard to make sure he doesn’t take it too hard and take too much on himself, because he’s quite happy to take responsibility. Sometimes those players can take too much on themselves and push themselves even further down.



9 December: “I don’t know where the stories came from” (After Brukner said Gerrard could be fit, on 30 November)

I don’t know where the stories came from that Gerrard would be fit for Newcastle. We have always been thinking he would be fit to face Fulham the following weekend, it would be much too early to consider him for Newcastle.



10 December: “He has been the first to recognise what a good job it was that we didn’t do these things” (On not letting Babel, Lucas et al leave)

Christian (Purslow) was here for two years and is a big fan with strong opinions about players. He fed me the information. I listened, of course, but made it clear I was not going to act on it. To be fair, when we’ve spoken or texted he has been the first to recognise what a good job it was that we didn’t do these things, because the boys have turned out well.



14 December: “Unless there is a major influx of cash into the club…” (After losing to Newcastle)

Unless there is a major influx of cash into the club and the team is going to be changed from one moment to the next, then whoever takes my place will be doing a similar job with similar players.



14 December: “We are right up there in terms of results” (having won 7 points from 18 and being 11th in the form table)

The only team with better results than us over the past five or six games is Arsenal or Manchester United. If you take the last five or six games we are right up there in terms of results



14 December: “I can’t work harder and I can’t work better”

The owners have made it perfectly clear they are in it for the long term. They realise it is going to take time. They realise we can’t turn things round overnight and they also realise the team I am working with is not the team I put together. It [the speculation] doesn’t bother me because I can’t do more than I am doing. I can’t work harder and I can’t work better.



15 December: “A bunch of also-rans”

I don’t know if I would have considered using Fernando had David Ngog been fit. But he isn’t and, having had a chat with Fernando, I think he’ll enjoy it. It’s not as if he’ll be playing with a bunch of also-rans. I’m not asking him to play in the reserves.



15 December: “They made me see sense”

I thought it would be a nice game for him (Torres) and a chance for him to get his confidence back. But I also had a talk to our fitness people and they made me see sense that it wasn’t the wisest thing to do. And of course it would be very bad for us if he picked up an injury. The same applied to Pepe Reina. They made me see sense, I listened to the reason around me and I changed my mind.



19 December: “The other players I have inherited”

It is starting to feel more like my side,but it is still a team that I have not put together. I want to make that clear. I took the team over and I have not made that many changes. I brought in [Paul] Konchesky to play left back, Raul Meireles to replace [Javier] Mascherano and Joe Cole came in at the same time as me as well as Christian Poulsen. The other players I have inherited. I think I would be a good comparison with Tottenham because Harry [Redknapp] came in there just as I came into Fulham so he will just be completing three years and he has brought in a lot of players. So to really call it my team, I would have had to make a slightly bigger impact on those who have been brought in. I am more than happy to take responsibility for this squad but it takes a coach more than five or six months to make his stamp on a club. I am hoping we will do some good business in transfer windows to come and then I will be able say, ‘If you don’t like it then I have no one to blame but myself’.



This article was first published by THIS IS ANFIELD.

A FESTIVE LOOK INTO THE CHRISTAL BALL

AJAX CAPE TOWN vs MAMELODI SUNDOWNS



This is not a title decider my dear reader. It is, however, a top of the log clash. The Cape Town boys have this thing of beating their stylish opponents on a regular basis. It is always a joy to watch young ones at play. Having said that, the stylish ones have managed to take points from matches they would have otherwise lost in previous seasons.Watch out for the little battles between fellow countrymen from up north in this one. Both these teams have a healthy dose of Zimbabwean skill in their armoury.



The coach with best plan B will win this one. Do not forget the wind.



MARITZBURG UNITED vs FREE STATE STARS



Steve Khompela will no doubt have spent this week using his good command of the English language to tell his players to forget about that huge win against the peace loving ones from Soweto.I`m pretty sure Shoaib Walters will not be as generous as Mr Khune.

Mazinyo.com will have to put a three point winning team for this encounter which should be a good game to watch.



Draw. Unless one of the goalkeepers has a moment of weakness.



MOROKA SWALLOWS vs ORLANDO PIRATES



Those rioting fans have called a truce and everything is well in the nest, for now! Ruud Krol commandeered the Buccaneers to a victory over the singing Siwelele thus avoiding walking the plank, for now! So it will definitely be a tense atmosphere for the kick off of the Original Soweto Derby. Gordon is a wily coach and will no doubt have done his homework. It is imperative Swallows start winning. The NFD will not be able to contain such a big team. Maybe we will see Teko in the starting line up, maybe.



I`ll surprise you all and go with Moroka Swallows for the win.



PLATINUM STARS vs SANTOS



It`s the stars of yesteryear versus the masters of the sucker punch. Platinum should have too much experience to fall into the trap that claimed Chiefs and Aces, amongst others. The stadium will not have any fans to put undue pressure on both sets of players. So they can all go out and enjoy it like it`s a closed training session.



Platinum Stars win.



SUPERSPORT UNITED vs GOLDEN ARROWS



A season or two ago this would have been an exciting game to look forward to. Alas , the champs are limping from game to game and those s`thendes have all but disappeared. Arrows are being turned into a more workman like squad that wins games without too much of the skill we had gotten used to. The champions are not waking up from their slumber, much to my disappointment. I`m sure the band is disappointed too but that won`t stop them churning out the tunes come Saturday.It`s one of those that either ends with a three nil drubbing or a boring nil all draw.



Supersport win.



KAIZER CHIEFS vs BIDVEST WITS



Roger De Sa once told Stuart Murisa that if they were to play Chiefs every week then Murisa would certainly be the top goal scorer.Wits have been a boogey team for the peace loving ones over the years and are not doing too badly this season. I hope that Chiefs have added a lot of carrots to Itumeleng Khune`s diet to help with his eyesight. On the other hand those Vilakazis miss so many chances it would not surprise me if they were to miss a chance similar to the one presented to Free State.



Draw.



BLOEMFONTEIN CELTIC vs VASCO DA GAMA



If you cannot run for the full 90 minutes you will not beat Vasco Da Gama. It`s that simple. These mafikizolos will run any team into submission. It took some of the Sundowns players at least three days to recover from their game with the travelers. The wonderful atmosphere at Seisa Ramabodu Stadium should be a great setting for what should be a very exciting mid table clash.



Bloemfontein Celtic win.



AMAZULU vs BLACK ACES



We all expect and believe that the Dube Birds will rise from the murky waters of relegation. So this game is a six pointer! Niel Tovey must look for whatever it is he had in the first couple of games after taking over otherwise ….NFD! The Zulus have keep the scoring fever from last week and maybe this week they score three without reply.



Amazulu win.



Adios and remember… THE CHRIStal BALL IS NEVER WRONG!!!

THE CHRIStal REPORT CARD

SMILEY OF THE WEEK

Moroka Swallows

The Dube Birds actually played to win this time and they could have come back with all three points from the Cape!

SAVE OF THE WEEK

This one goes to a striker this week. Patrick Malokase will be remembered by Ruud Krol as the man who scored the goal that saved his job at Orlando Pirates!

SURPRISE OF THE WEEK

Six goals at Milpark Stadium?!!?You must kidding me. It`s very, very rare to get that amount of goals at that ground and we still had no winner at the end of it all.

STAR OF THE WEEK

I am convinced Ryan Chapman did not think he was going to get a kick in the game against Amazulu. I am even more convinced that he did not think he was going to score one goal let alone two. So, for digging his fellow classmates out of the mud, Ryan Chapman is our deserved STAR OF THE WEEK!

FLOP OF THE WEEK

Our very own national asset presenting the ball and three points to those men from the Free State was something worthy of a spot in the local circus. Without any favour or bias, we loudly announce that Itumeleng Khune is the FLOP OF THE WEEK!

TWO IN TWO DAYS FOR RED HOT MUSONA!

Two awards in two days. Knowledge Musona must be feeling on top of the world right now.



A selected panel of judges has been keeping a watchful eye over proceedings in the Absa Premiership for the months of October and November. The panel, made up of four reputable members of the media met at the PSL last week where they engaged in healthy debate to deliberate the nominees in the two categories and eventually selected a winner in each.



“This has really turned out to be an exciting season and having sat in on the judging it was evident that the level of football has grown from strength to strength” said Steward Masela, Absa Sponsorship Consultant.



With six players making this month’s list, it demonstrates the high level of football being played in the Absa Premiership this season. The list was made up of the following players Andile Jali (Orlando Pirates), Sibusiso Zuma (Vasco da Gama), Knowledge Musona (Kaizer Chiefs), Noah Chivuta (Free State Stars), Thulasizwe Mbuyane (Orlando Pirates) and Siyabonga Nkosi (Golden Arrow). While Zoran Filipovic (Golden Arrows), Clinton Larsen (Bloemfontein Celtic) Carlos das Neves (Vasco da Gama) and Roger de Sa (Bidvest Wits) secured a spot on the Coach of the Month shortlist.



Of the six players nominated, it came down to one player who stood out head and shoulders above the rest- there was no debate that Musona should win the Absa Premiership Player for the months of October and November 2010. The judges’ reasoning for his outright win was that Musona had emerged as the leading marksman in the top-flight this season. He makes good runs and connects well with midfield. This youngster’s BMT (big game temperament) came to the fore having scored a total of four goals during the judging period, including two against arch-rivals Pirates at Soccer City.


Musona was also named the Red Hot Young Player for the same period. So in fact it`s three in two days! I am definitely gate crushing the Musonas` Christmas get together!

MUSONA WINS FIRST AWARD

Zimbabwean hitman, Knowledge Musona scooped his first award of his ever improving South African Premier League career when he took home the Striker of the Tournament award at an awards ceremony held in the plush suburbs of Sandton. Musona was chosen by a panel of judges that consisted of well known journalists. The awards were presented to the players that had excelled in the recently ended Telkom Knockout Cup which was won by Kaizer Chiefs after beating rivals Orlando Pirates in front of 91 227 fans at Soccer City.


“Firstly I want to thank God for the talent, my family.Secondly, I want to thank the coach and the technical team for giving me the chance to play for this team.” said the beaming Kaizer Chiefs striker. He also dedicated the award to his teammate, Simphiwe Tshabalala, who lost his mother over the weekend of the final.

The prize money for the Striker of the Tournament was reduced to R100 000 from R150 000 as none of the strikers had managed to bang in five goals or more. The prize therefore went to the striker that had created the most hype during the tournament. Christmas will definitely be a joyous occasion in the Musona household.



It was a clean sweep for the Amakhosi as their players also received the Goalkeeper of the Tournament (Itumeleng Khune) and Midfielder of the Tournament (Reinelwe Letsolonyane) awards. I thought the nominees in these two categories had done enough to win the awards but then again I was not part of the judgung panel. If I was part of the panel, we probably would have ended up flexing our football muscles in the judging room.
 
Maritzburg United goalkeeper, Shaiob Walters single handedly ensured the exit of Mamelodi Sundowns from the competition. That, my friends, is not something to be taken lightly. Khune, on the other hand, was well protected throughout the tournament and one could count the number of saves he made throughout the tournament on one hand.
 
Santos defender, Wayne Arendse was inspiraional as his team went all the way to the 119th minute of the semi finals of this tournament. The fact that he is actually an attacking midfielder who is ready to play in any position for the cause would have counted in his favour, in my most humble opinion.
 
Andile Jali is a man who should feel as robbed as Morgan Tsvangirai after an election after missing out on the Midfielder of the Tournament. The young Bucaneer has been a revelation in the heart of midfield for Orlando Pirates. He has been involved in everything good about his team`s run to the final.
 
This is just my humble opinion.

BUCS SHIP WRECKED BY NGCOBO

Orlando Pirates were outsmarted, maneuvered and humiliated infront of the 92,000 fans , by the Kaizer Chiefs team that came to the FNB stadium tactically superior and in a class of their own playing as a team against a side that played like toddlers from the kindergarten.




By Mzwandile@yizodiski.co.za

The El KASICO!!

There is absolutely no need to tell you which teams are playing this weekend. If you do not know the fixture for this weekend, YOU ARE NOT READING THIS. You are most probably out pruning your little trees.




Let us take this one slowly my dear reader and analyse it to the best of our abilities. History always helps when going into the future and history will tell you a couple of things. Chiefs played Santos and lost. They then went on to beat Orlando Pirates after said loss, after which they dumped the very same Santos they lost to out of this very same cup they are playing for on Saturday evening. Chiefs won this very same cup some months ago. This is what history is telling us dear reader.

Do not fret, dear reader, for history has not forgotten to tell us that a team called Vasco Da Gama beat Chiefs in their last league match. Now, let us ask ourselves, will history repeat itself??Huh?



Orlando Pirates captain once told a gathering of the media that no side had beaten them back to back in the past seasons….or was it season. If I misquote the great captain, well… so be it! Going on this piece of information or fact (or maybe fiction) alone, then we can safely say the Bucaneers will win this game and add yet another trophy to the cabinet they wanted to throw away not so long ago!



What about the respective benches. Cup finals can be won from the bench. An inspired substitution, a great half time pep talk, a tactical change can be the catalyst to a great victory. Dear readers, if I am wrong leave me to my fantasies please. The Pirates substitutions always come at around the same time and 9 time out 10 it’s the same player coming out for the same substitute. Klate or Mabalane comes off for Tlou. This usually happens after 65 minutes of play. Again, if I am wrong, please leave to my fantasies. Vlad is a bit more versatile as you do see different names here and there. So now dear reader if we were to base our prediction on the coach with a better plan B, then the Amakhosi would win the same trophy twice in the same year!



So it`s a tie. It`s penalties, but wait. What about the all important twelfth man?YOU! You are going to will your team to victory, or are you? I have seen The Ghost whistle and boo with their team at one nil up. I have seen the peace lovers throw cabbages on to the pitch. So can the fans turn this one in favour of their beloved teams? I am afraid not. Unless they change in the next few days!



So who will be the game winner come Saturday night?Chiefs have Musona, Nengomashe, Yeye, Yende and national assets Tshabalala and Khune. Pirates have Jali, Ngobeni, Klate and that man who intimidates penalty takers into missing, Josephs.



This is the final! THE EL KASICO!!ABOVE ALL FOOTBALL MUST WIN!!!

Abomakoti of PSL Vasco Da Gama hammer sleeping Chiefs defence

Abomakoti of PSL Vasco Da Gama hammer sleeping Chiefs defence


Date: 27 November 2010

Article: Madoda Ntuli

kick-off: 20h15

Venue: FNB Stadium



PSL rookies Vasco da Gama caused the biggest upset of the weekend when they beat Telkom Knockout finalists Kaizer Chiefs 3-2 in an Absa Premiership clash played at FNB Stadium on Saturday night.

Goals from Jonathan Armogam, Sibusiso Zuma, and Jonathan Fransman secured the three points for the Cape Town outfit, while Chiefs got their goals from Abia Nale and Knowledge Musona.



Chiefs rested three of their star players – Siphiwe Tshabalala, Itumeleng Khune and Reneilwe Letsholonyane –for the Telkom Knockout final against Pirates at the same venue on December 4, and the decision seemed to be suicidal for the Naturena lads.



Prior to this duel, Tshabalala and Khune were on two yellow cards each, and Letsholonyane had a slight injury. Coach Vladimir Vermezovic indicated that he didn’t want to risk facing Pirates without the three Bafana Bafana players.



Chiefs were the first to threaten, when George Lebese delivered a cross of supreme quality in the third minute but there was no Sthembiso Ngcobo or Knowledge Musona to connect with the inviting cross.



The visitors were also eager to stamp their authority on the home side from the first whistle, and it came as no surprise when Armogam surprised all sundry when he beat a cluster of Chiefs players before beating Arthur Bartman in Chiefs’ goal with a low shot to put his side on the driving seat in the ninth minute.



In an attempt to clear danger, Chiefs striker Ngcobo nearly scored an own goal in the 17th minute, but the former Free State Stars striker was lucky to see his clearance going inches wide with Arthur Bartman at his mercy.



However, Chiefs had an upper hand in terms of ball possession. Their intricate and diagonal passing that looked like a nuclear physics sketch on a drawing board left the cape side’s midfielders dazed and scratching their heads without any answers.



Knowledge Musona almost scored in the 22nd minute, but the Chiefs striker was denied by the agile goalkeeping of Posnett Omony who parried the ball away for a corner.



At this stage, Chiefs were hell bound to destroy their opponents but Vasco da Gama’s back four, led by former Chiefs defender Mokete Tsotetsi and Francois Adams remained firm.



Even so, Chiefs did carve some good openings. In the 28th minute the deadly Musona was neatly picked by Jimmy Tau on the right flank but the Zimbabwean striker directed his header over the bar, much to the disappointment of the Amakhosi’s faithful.



However, three minutes later, Musona atoned for his earlier miss when he set up Abia Nale, who made no mistake by beating Omony to give the home side the much awaited equaliser.



After the goal, Chiefs did not give up and pressed forward for the second one, but Vasco da Gama’s defence was determined to defend their goal.



The visitors’ net-minder, also looked solid, commanding his area well and confidently coming out to combat numerous attempts at his goal by Musona and company.



After the break Vasco finally found their rhythm and launched a sporadic outburst of counter attacks, but the Cape Town outfit seemed to be running out of ideas on entering the Chiefs territory.



Dominic Isaacs was given a task of chasing Sibusiso Zuma the whole night and, as expected, the Amakhosi defender stuck to him like a pair of tight underpants in the first half.



But he would have been disappointed when, after a long pass from the left, Zuma managed to beat him before scoring his side’s second goal in the 56th minute.



Sensing danger, Chiefs coach, Vladimir Vermezovic opted for fresh legs and went for broke when he introduced Siyabulela Sonqwigi and Lucky Khune in place of Lebese and Ngcobo.



The move nearly paid dividends but once more Omony underlined his class when he denied Musona what could have been a second goal for Amakhosi in the 68th minute.



Chiefs did not rest on their laurels and wait for a miracle to happen. They did all in their power to come back into the game, but fluffed the chances they created.



Fransman scored Vasco da Gama’s third goal in the 82nd minute, before Musona scored Chiefs’ second in the 85th minute.



The Soweto side were unable to draw level in the dying minutes of the game.



Kaizer Chiefs (1) 2 (Nale 31’, Musona 86’)

Vasco da Gama (1) 3 (Armogam 9’, Zuma 56’, Fransman 82’)



Teams:



Chiefs: Bartman, Tau, Jambo, Isaacs, Nahayo, Nengomasha, Nale, Dladla, (Mateba 80th) Lebese, (Sonqwiqi 59th) Ngcobo, (Khune 66th) Musona.



Vasco: Omony, Isaacs, Mototo, Tsotetsi, Adams Armogam, Karkee, (Mothibantwa 70th) Kamwendo, (Fransman 78th) Dirang, Alexander, Zuma (August 71st)

A LOOK INTO THE CHRIS-tal BALL

Dear Reader, it has come to our attention that you are not going to the stadiums anymore. We hear that Gauteng teams have to go far and wide to play games in order to get bums on the seats. Certain rogue elements would like blame the Chris-tal Ball for your lack of interest in going to watch matches at one of the very well built stadiums. Why go to the stadium when you already know the result?!? The Chris-tal Ball takes no blame for your inability to go to premier soccer league matches! I do not blame you. Some of those games are really boring and the entertainment before the match and at half time is….well, it’s really, really bad. Dear Reader I urge to stop being a derby fan only and start going out there to see your teams play, even if your team is Moroka Swallows.




SWALLOWS vs SUPERSPORT UNITED



If Gavin Hunt is really sad and disappointed about the situation at The Dube Birds then he must just tell his boys to lose this one for his former employers. I see more strikers from the past have been roped in to help out with the scoring of goals for the flailing birds. We wish these players the best of luck. Moroka Swallows will need their protesting fans to sing with that band all the way to the final whistle. Supersport will no doubt bring along their band, so at the very least there will be music at Dobsonville Stadium.



SWALLOWS WILL WIN AND EVERYBODY WILL BE HAPPY. Even Gavin Hunt.



AJAX CAPE TOWN vs BIDVEST WITS



Bidvest Wits is everybody’s favourite team at the moment after beating The Rich Ones in Nelspruit. I can however tell you that most of those fans that celebrated that win will not even be watching this game. The small crowd that will go to the stadium can expect a good game of football IF Wits play the same way they did against Sundowns. Please note that the wind usually plays a big part in Cape Town and when the wind behaves, the referees do not.



A DRAW.



MARITZBURG UNITED vs ORLANDO PIRATES



They came, they saw, they conquered and now they are coming again! This time it will be at the correct stadium. The home team will be at home and we shall see if where you play really does make a difference. If Pirates could hand out three in Durban, I do not see how they cannot give out the same hiding in Pietermaritzburg. It’s only a Comrades Marathon away from the site of the last massacre. So Mazinyo dot com better hope his charges win. I can tell you now they will not. Pirates need to stay in touch with peace lovers and the rich ones so they will not show any mercy, unless of course they are already thinking of a certain cup final.



CHRIS-tal Ball showed Joseph Makanya scoring a hat trick.

TSEPHO HOWLER SENDS CHIEFS THROUGH

Spare a thought for the Kazier Chiefs supporters from the Mabopane branch whose taxi rolled over on the way to this game in Polokwane. I certainly hope that everyone is on the way to full recovery.




It is a fact that every ground is a home ground for the Mighty Amakhosi. Almost thirty six thousand people found their way to the refurbished Peter Mokaba Stadium in Polokwane. Almost all of them were supporting the team in the black and gold. The ten or so that were rooting for the People`s Team included it`s owner, family and friends. This, however, did not deter the players mush as they held their own for most of this game. In fact, Santos could have silenced the packed stadium on quite a few occasions.



The game started with Chiefs pressing and Santos showing off their defensive prowess. Sthembiso Ngcobo tried the hand of god but only managed to get into the referee`s book. Ngcobo was actually lucky to escape an early shower as he deliberately handled the ball a couple of times in the first half. Santos` hero from last week`s league win failed to capitilise on a defensive mix up between Nahayo and Khune, his first touch taking the ball wide of the empty net. This ensured the teams went into the break level.

Early in the second half, Thomas Sweswe almost gave 35 590 people instant diarhorea when his attempted clearance looked to be headed into the roof of Khune`s goals. The Bafana number one had to be at his agile best to tip the ball over for a corner. In the dying minutes Knowledge Musona continued his trend of missing the chances that look easy from the stands, putting wide a good cross from the left. This then left us with an extra thirty minutes of Telkom Knockout football. Santos did look more threatening but never really looked like breaching the Chiefs rear guard. Santos goalkeeper showed the confidence of a 14 rand lotto quick pick ticket holder as he tried as much as possible to drag the match into the dreaded shootout. Unfortunately he tore up his ticket with the season`s biggest howler so far.

Tshepo Motsoeneng spilled a harmless looking cross from Siphiwe Tshabalala while trying to ensure he lands spectacularly hence waste a few more seconds. The ball fell to the most lethal striker in domestic football at the moment. By the time Tshepo realised what a mess he had put his team in, Knowledge Musona had got up from under his teammates and was engaging fellow Zimbabwean, Thomas Sweswe, in a yet another dance routine. The distraught keeper was inconsolable as he threw away his jersey after the final whistle. All of Santos` hard work was undone by a moment of pure stupidity. For the masses, though, one half of the final they all want was in place.

A LOOK INTO THE CHRIS-tal BALL

Suffice to say, dear reader, that the ball has been jinxed by a certain journalist who shall remain nameless. Immediately after the thrashing of the ghost by the peaceful ones, this journalist went to ask coach Krol if he thought that his team was now at a disdvantage going into the cup game with Chiefs. Coach Vlad turned to Krol with the most surprised look he could muster, pointing to the Dutch he asked, "We play you?”Krol answered, "I don’t know”. So now that a journalist has prophesied that Kaizer Chiefs will meet Orlando Pirates in the final even before they play the semis, what is left for my dear ball to do?




KAIZER CHIEFS vs SANTOS

Facts! Let us look some facts!

Chiefs had at least seven players away on international duty. Santos had maybe two players away on international duty. FACT

Santos beat Chiefs last week. FACT

Didn’t think of that now, did you Mr Journalist? Did you? Of course we must remember that the same bunch that could not find a pass on Wednesday went on to smack Pirates on the chick on Saturday. By right this should be a walkover for the Amakhosi, but then again that`s what we said last week. We now know that Chiefs do well after a defeat and I can now tell you what you already know. Shabba, Yeye, Khune and Mapoloba are all coming from a defeat!



Chris-tal ball showed me a streaming video of Santos players practising penalty kicks.



MARITZBURG UNITED vs ORLANDO PIRATES

I read a report that stated that Maritzburg were threatening to boycott semi final match because it had been moved to Chartsworth Stadium. Their Special Projects Coordinator was especially miffed as he had done such a sterling job preparing the pitch for the arrival of the Buccaneers. He was in charge for the Sundowns game. Now he has to move his mut...i mean equipment to Durban and the Special Projects Officer at Arrows is understandably not very keen on having the Pietermaritzburg crew. Anyway I do not believe for a second that the hierarchy at Maritzburg was going to even consider boycotting their highest paying gig for some time now.

MARITZBURG UNITED BEAT MAMELODI SUNDOWNS. I’ll leave you to chew on that for a while.

The last time Pirates were in Durban for a Cup game I think they brought a trophy home. In fact they had to go and repossess their trophy cabinet from the guy who had bought it at an auction. I hope the staff at Orlando Pirates are working hard at teaching the players the meaning of one word, Complacency (I certainly hope that’s how it’s spelt)



The Chris-tal Ball warns that the Prophet Journalist was wrong.



BIRMINGHAM vs CHELSEA

In their arrogance they saw it unnecessary to buy back up centre backs. In fact, they sold one to The Special One. We had to watch that white guy from Sunderland dance! I hope Chelsea get it together this weekend because I do not think those Birmingham guys can dance either! City do not make a habit of losing at home. With Terry off to do some sight seeing in Spain, who`s to say we won`t be seeing some moves from the likes of McFarden. God help us!

Both teams put on blue so the Chris-tal Ball went for the one wearing ...BLUE.

MANCHESTER UNITED vs WIGAN

The new draw kings of the premier league must have all stood up and joined The Gyan Dance Movement last week. For intents and pruposes in a normal year, Manchester United would be considered out of contention by now but such is the nature of the league this season. One cannot discount Mancester City winning it, oh no wait...they only want fourth place. Wigan have been their usual frustrating selves agian. Winning today, losing tomorrow. Depending on which Wigan team turns The Red Devils might not need the referee or his optional time to win this one.

LIVERPOOL vs WEST HAM

West Ham fans are looking forward to a very good away from home. Their rubbing together of the palms must have become more vigorous with the news of Gerrard`s injury while playing for England. Some people`s favourite Liverpool player, Lucas, will be in the sin bin for this one. So Mr Hodgson has the perfect excuse to bring in his favourite Liverpool player, Paulsen! There isn`t enough writing space in the world for me to go into the subject of Hedgehog and his sidekick.Even the jinxed Chris-tal Ball gave this one to West Ham.

WHAT THE ...........?!?!?!??!??

Hodgson, Hodgson, Hedgehog. I mean, what the …? Playing Steven Gerrard as a defensive midfielder has not worked in the past. So what made Hedgehog think it was going to work at Stoke? Mereiles is your typical central midfielder. Why does Hedgehog continue to throw out him on the wings?? Do we need two defensive midfielders for such games?? WHAT THE ……!!!????Mr. Hodgson!




Sunderland 3 Chelsea 0 at Stamford Bridge! WTF?!!Really, what is going in the premier league? This is the worst start by a team at the top of the log in November ever! In seasons past three loses were regarded as too many. You lose three and you can start concentrating on the knockout cups. Those two teams from Manchester are drawing left right and centre but still find themselves very much in contention. Spending all that dough so that you can fight for fourth place! At this rate 50 points will be enough to win the league this season.

Alonso, my man! The task was simple, come in third and you win the title. Someone in Ferrari colours decided to complicate matters by concentrating on what Webber was doing. I mean, what the….???really, WHAT THE ACTUAL…..?!?!??

AT LAST! A WIN FOR THE CHAMPS.

Defending champions Supersport United finally collected three points in the league. This was at the expense of traveling Bloemfontein Celtic at the Masterpieces Morepe Stadium in Pretoria.


As Gavin Hunt pointed out after the match, Supersport had a whole team sitting up in the stands. Bongani Khumalo looks like he might not play that farewell match and the coach refused to divulge why King Laffor was in the stands signing autographs and shaking hands with little kids rather than on the pitch.

The match started with the home team pressing, with the diminutive Kermit Erasmus causing all sorts of problems in the heart of the Celtic defence. Off the pitch there was also a fierce battle raging as the Siwelele tried to sing louder than that band that travels with the champions. Their voices were lowered as the band`s volume was increased when Morgan Gould rose unchallenged to head home a corner kick. It was rather poor defending on the part of Celtics as it is a well known fact that Supersport are masters of the set pieces.

Bloemfontein Celtic were relying heavily on the long ball to the very tall Nathan Paulse. Unfortunately for them Paulse seemed to do more fouling than controlling of the football. Indeed one these fouls on Morgan Gould earned a yellow card. Pirates old boy, Bennet Chenene should have brought the scores back to level pegging but put his siding effort well over the bar. Spandeel also had a chance with a header in the 41st minute which was turned for a corner. The resultant corner was wasted. The long balls to Paulse were only serving to put Bloemfontein Celtic under more pressure as the ball would come straight back. As half time beckoned Mdubanya sent Kermit clean through with a defence splitting pass and the young striker made no mistake with only keeper to beat.

In the second half, Celtic came more and more into the game peppering the United goal with shots. It was one of these shots that found it`s way into the net. It was a brilliant solo effort by heavily built Prince Hlela. Hlela`s shot from way outside the area is indeed a strong candidate for goal of the season. The threat of rain was almost as real as the threats of a Celtics come back. How the ball stayed out is quite a mystery. Katza made two crucial interceptions, one with his head and the second more crucial one with his feet right at the death. The rains threatened. Bloemfontein Celtics threatened. Neither of them delivered within regulation time.

It was a welcome win for Gavin Hunt who stated that he was definitely going into the transfer market come January. In fact the champions have an Angolan defender arriving in Pretoria this week. The coach said he would be looking for two defenders, two midfielders and one striker. Gavin Hunt also revealed that he was sad and disappointed with the situation at his former club, Moroka Swallows. Having taken the club out relegation territory to a top five club, the Supersport mentor hoped that things would improve for the Dube Birds.

FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PITCH: MUSONA MASSACRE

FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PITCH: MUSONA MASSACRE

The Derby....and those elusive teamsheets.

We have start at the beginning. Having received the email that informed that our SADs (Stadium Access Devices, dummy) were ready for collection, I stole time out of my busy schedule to go to the hallowed offices of the Soweto soccer giant. After creating my own parking space I entered the building to join a group of rather irritated media people.Apparently the media had told everyone to come in at ten. I arrived at eleven thirty three. The eestemed officer had "stepped out". She eventually pitched and we made a happy queue to collect the cards that would ensure us entrance into the biggest derby in Africa. I was not surprised that she did not know me. After repeating my name a couple of times, I was given a card and told, "that`s all, no parking for you." What about Dee, I enquired. After a few finger punches of the keyboard, I was told  that my dear colleague was not approved.Horror!Sorry, no dice.

On matchday, teamsheets were like democracy in Africa, hard to find. I even had one snatched from my very hand by a Pirates staffer. After a little protestation and a lot of finger pointing we left the room with no teamsheets and a promise from a very nice lady that she would deliver said teamsheets. We later saw this nice lady dancing to the sounds of Cleo. So no teamsheets. Even at the very smallest of teams, the ones that have like ten supporters, we always get teamsheets.Maybe we are supposed to know every player since it`s Pirates!
The home also organised bouncers. Big boys roamed around the area like it a night club. They kept checking our accreditation cards to see if the faces on there were really ours. Maybe they were there to protect the celebrities from us.
DJ Cleo did his thing for a few minutes and then joined those little Teko Modise wannabes that had taken up the space that is normally filled by our non working colleagues.
Residents of Celebville came in their numbers. No doubt invited by the same home team that had denied plenty of journalists access to the media centre.Life!

MUSONA MASSACRE

There is no better time to show one`s qualities that in the “biggest derby in Africa”. Knowledge Musona created one and scored two as Chiefs beat Orlando Pirates by three goals to one in an ABSA premier league match played in an almost packed FNB Stadium. The over seventy thousand fans that made the pilgrimage to the mecca of South African soccer watched in awe as Musona nutmegged a hapless Lucky Legwati on the right hand side, fooled Moeneeb Josephs and sent in a pinpoint cut back that a sliding Daine Klate put into the net. Daine Klate is an Orlando Pirates player.


Musona then came back to terrorise the same player, again putting the ball through the legs of the Pirates captain. This time the defender brought him down in the 18 yard box. Musona then got up, dusted himself up and duly sent Moeneeb Josephs the wrong way. The celebration from the deadliest striker in the PSL could easily get in into Aleck Macheso`s band as a dancer. He executed the Borrowdale dance to the appreciation of his teammates.

The third and killer goal was gifted to the mercurial Zimbo by Pirates defender Mahamootsa, who let a long ball bounce and then tried to head the ball back to his goalkeeper. Musona slipped in between keeper and defender, lobbed the ball over Josephs before heading into an empty net. He was taken off a few minutes later. I`m sure he was humming the tune to “….asi basa ndasiya ndapedza”.

Special mention must be made of Tinashe Nengomasha, who did an excellent job of stopping the skillful Pirates midfield from causing the Chiefs` back four too much trouble. The midfield duo of Clifford Ngobeni and Andile Jali had been terrorizing teams before they came up against Father. The back four included Thomas Swewe. He had a solid game at centre back. Still on the Chiefs back four, Jimmy Jambo did reveal to this very scribe that he would out for two to three weeks with an injury sustained during the midweek loss to Santos.

Pirates did score a consolation goal but the damage had already been done by the best thing to hit South African soccer since the vuvuzela.

A LOOK INTO THE CHRISTAL BALL

Dear reader, as I have stated over and over again, the CHRIStal ball is never wrong, never! It predicted that you would be here at this very moment, reading this article and here you are.


ORLANDO PIRATES vs KAIZER CHIEFS

What can we say in this column that has not already been said in countless other publications about this game? Maybe nothing, but since you are here you might as well read it again. Chiefs have a problem at leftback if Jimmy Jambo`s injury looks as serious at looked on Wednesday night. The result of that game shall remain a national secret, in fact we`ll lock it away in a volt somewhere in the ANCYL`s offices and have Mr Malema keep the key. He might need it to sway voters. If Bucs complain of jetlag after their trip to the Natal we will take them to the Indian Ocean on a pirates` ship and make them walk the plank. We expect only one thing from this game, dear reader, A GOOD GAME OF FOOTBALL. If the two giants cannot deliver on this then we`ll settle for at least seven goals.

The Christal Ball shows me that the result will be………

SANTOS vs MARITZBURG

I know, I know. You did not know that there were other games on Saturday. Well you join a colleague of mine who even went on to state that no other game was supposed to be on anyway. Santos did something naughty on Wednesday night against that team that Ernst Midderndorp loves to watch. We shall say no more. Maritzburg took another point out of the total number of points Supersport will need to successfully defend their premiership title. To win this game Maritzburg will have to do something that extremely difficulty to do in Cape Town, score. The strong Cape wind can assist or hinder them in their mission.

The Christal Ball covered itself in black and gold and put up a peace sign. SANTOS WIN

PLATINUM STARS vs MOROKA SWALLOWS

Moroka Swallows will be to be playing away from their protesting supporters, that`s one thing for sure. I would hate to have fans like that. How can they be angry just because the team is the bottom of the log? It`s a dirty job but somebody`s got to prop up the other fifteen. Platinum Stars will be rubbing their palms together in great anticipation of an easy three points. Dear reader let me tell now, they will not get them. Moroka Swallows are the most dangerous team to be playing right now.



The Christal Ball grew a rasta in honour of that great Dube Birds supporter is not protesting. DRAW

VASCO DA GAMA vs AMAZULU

If the Zulus are not ready to run for ninety minutes, then they might as well stay in sunny KZN. At least the scoreline for a forfeit is only 3 nil. However if they can keep up, then they will find that scoring against the Vascos is much easier than scoring against the Bucs. Having been in the premier league for a longer time counts for nothing when you meet with these marathon runners from the Cape. Pirates know it, Sundowns know it, Ajax knows it and now Amazulu will know it too.

Christal Ball seemed moved by the wind and rain. VASCO DA GAMA WIN.

CHIEFS SEND FREE STATE STARS PACKING

The match started at a very low tempo with a header from Valerie Nahayo the only notable piece of activity in the first 5 minutes. Mr Nahayo was heavily involved in the first of a couple of dubious refereeing interventions that were dished up by this encounter. Nahayo clearly laid his hands on Aleni Lebyane in a very illegal manner, the referee chose not to see the blatant foul inside the box. As there were only about ten of them, the Ela Koto supporters` cries were not heard at all. Speaking of the crowd, it was yet another poorly attended game in the PSL. Looks like the World Cup took most of the fans back with it when it left our shores!


The game was played at a very low tempo with the home team enjoying the bulk of the possession. Knowledge Musona shot wide in the 26th minute, Chiefs wasted three free kicks and I thought I saw the national team coach dose off. Most of us were happy to hear the blundering referee blow for half time.

Kaizer Chiefs returned for the second half without Mthokosizi Yende, opting for the faster, more attacking Mandla Masango. The game progressed in pretty much the manner as the first stanza with Chiefs hogging the ball. The current darling of the Amakhosi faithfull, Knowledge Musona almost put the home team in front with a deft chip over Kennedy Mweene only to see Bageta Dikulu`s head the meet goal bound effort on the line. Warning served.

Then came what the Kaizer Chiefs` coach later called the crucial moment of the match. Free State Stars were awarded a free kick deep inside their opponents` half. Paulus Masehe met the ball with a sweetly timed volley in the little box producing one of the saves of the season from Arthur Bartman, in for Khune. Steve Khompela`s crucial moment involved the referee, whose name has evaded me for some reason. Those of you who watch the SABC will get it from Sylvester Ndaba as he tries to explain said referee`s eyebrow raising decisions. The ball went out of play for a throw in for Stars and because of something the referee had to attend to, he called for a bump ball. He then instructed the player from Free State Stars to kick the ball back into touch and not to the Chiefs keeper as the young man wanted. The player did this under protest and from the resultant throw in Mandla Masango went a 50m dash and crossed for substitute Sthembiso Ngcobo to ram home the first goal of the afternoon. Steve Khompela was not impressed. It was all downhill from there for the team from Bloemfontein. The mandatory Musona should have come soon after but the goal scoring machine managed to hit the upright post when scoring looked easier, but as has become customary for the Zimbabwean striker he put away a chance that was far more difficult to kill off the game. It was a glancing header of amazing technique from a corner to ensure that Kazier Chiefs will continue on their quest to defend their Telkom Knockout Cup.

A LOOK INTO MY CHRIS- TAL BALL

KAIZER CHIEFS vs FREE STATE STARS


Dear reader, I wish I could tell you that Chiefs are already through to the semi finals. Just looking at the squad sheets I could certainly make a good case for it, but alas no. This game is not as lopsided as it looks on paper.The irony is that it is Chiefs` superiority that their problem here. Every coach will tell there is very little or no motivation needed for the players when they are going to face The Mighty Amakhosi! Free State Stars will be pumped up for this one and as Swallows can attest, teams with nothing to lose can be very dangerous. In my most humble opinion, it will be up to Chiefs to kill off the Stars spirit and game early. Very early!

The Ball says a Chiefs win.

SANTOS vs MPUMALANGA BLACK ACES

Boebie Solomons said he would like to get the big guns out of the way early in the cups. The draw did not give him a big gun. Instead he finds himself facing a team that visited the south of Johannesburg twice and won twice. Having said that, Aces went on to lose to Free State Stars. According to Rodger De Sa, Santos “suck you in” and then hit you when you least expect it. I can safely say sucking will not work against Aces and what`s more the boys from Mpumalanga can play in the wind and rain, again I refer you to the Dube Birds. As I have already stated they have already won two times away from home. I will not go into the details of these defeats for fear of saddening some happy people. So Santos will have their work cut out come Saturday.

Christal Ball says both teams should seriously practice taking penalties.

SUPERSPORT UNITED vs ORLANDO PIRATES

The Christal Ball developed cracks on this one. The wounded lion that is Supersport United meets a somewhat rejuvenated Pirates side. I think a lot will depend on Ruud Krol`s starting line up. In the two games that he has started with Ngobeni and Jali in the middle, Pirates has run riot. As always I have someone to refer you to. It is not Moroka Swallows this time but rather the youthful Ajax Cape Town. If you do not believe them you can go ask those rich boys from Chloorkop. However if you add a little bit of luck to Supersport`s performance against Chiefs last Sunday then…..wait! On Sunday they were thwarted by Bafana Bafana number one and this Saturday the boys from Pretoria/Tswane will be facing the other national team number one. Supersport look to be missing something this season but with hope of retaining the title dwindling they could look to the cups to salvage their season.

The Christal Ball went blue before cracking in 100 different places. Supersport win.

MARITZBURG UNITED vs MAMELODI SUNDOWNS

Can you say “Upset”. This one has an upset written all over it. Sundowns have had so many players on their books one would be hard pressed to find a PSL club without a former Mamelodi Sundowns player. Maritzburg does indeed have players that used to ply their trade in the Brazilian colours. A deflected shot was all it took to get Maritzburg to this stage of the competition. They might a few more than one on Sunday. Even without the Killer instinct (Mphela), Sundowns have looked like it`s just a matter of time before they unleash on a very unfortunate team. Maritzburg could very well be that team.

After glueing The Christal Ball together it did the samba before turning blue again. Sundowns win.

Christopher Dube

Even If You Do Not Know Anything About Cricket.

You will enjoy watching this fellow from the West Indies.Chris Gayle is the name.If ever there is cricket to watched and u see that name come up anywhere watch it, i`m telling you now, watch this guy.Mr Gayle can hit that little ball very, very, very hard.Also worth a mention here is one Mr Pollard who hit one that had his teammates scurrying for cover on the bench and an opponent looking to the heavens for a ball that finally landed somewhere in the stands.I`m a video of that one is doing the rounds on the world wide web.

That Bidvest and that Cape side that beat the mighty Kazier Chiefs managed only two shot off target for the entire 120 minutes should tell enough about that game. Although, as usual, there was plenty for those in the midst of a mid life crisis to keep the eyes busy in the stands.They sang and shook what their mamas gave the whole those excuses for soccer players did whatever it was they were doing on the field meant for football.

Saw more of the Harry Gwala Stadium than I did Katlego Mashego in that final before the final.I saw somewhere that the former Supersport striker is worth THREE MILLION. I am positive the currency is no longer in use.The Orlando Pirates are known for wanting change when things are not going their way, however calling for a substitute to be substituted is testimony to the player`s contribution to the cause.

I have decided to become a card carrying member of Mamelodi Sundowns FC.My fellow green bottle are advised to follow suit.After every home win there is enough beer flowing there to keep the SAB truck in the township for at half a day to offload.So i`m buying my brazilian attire and for the next season i will be doing the samba Pretoria style.

What else happened........oh!Chelsea won the premier league in the English land.Those guys have really done their bit for the population, plenty of little juniors celebrating with the happy daddies.They all forgot it was Mothers Day, not one mother in sight!

I think Formula is tad little boring especially because that no refuelling rule.It starts out slowly because the cars are carrying a lot of fuel and then the whole mystery of strategies is now not there.Bernie better be careful...fas could be lost.

A player playing as badly as Tiger Woods should not have even 10 people following him around the golf course.That`s all I have to say about that!

Saw the Pirates boys celebrate like they had just won the cup. Their opponents were busy trying to get autographs and jerseys from the defeaters. From my vantage point behind my glass I could see all the players from that other team, small as they were. I`m sure I will be able to see the Bucaneers next opponents. It`s those rich ones from across the Juskei.I tell you what, though, i`d rather be at a Telkom Knockout match than these bank ones.No halftime entertainment – I remember a fellow almost falling over the barrier in response to Chomee`s moves.That might have been at the derby....alcohol memory. The hospitality is nothing to be excited about either.I remember being politely asked to return to the game at Super Stadium.Only two of us were left in VIP lounge at the time, the temperature of the one brewed with passion had a lot to do with me not returning for the second half.Adding to that was the fact that the boys of peace and the boys of style were giving the goalkeepers too much peace and the style was not eye catching.
Anyway back to this past week. Thando Mngomeni can tackle and run more than his usual 20 metres per game{proven stat!}.I saw this with mine own sober eyes, pity the blind ones tasked with choosing man of the match for the Wits vs Thanda Royal saw it too and gave the Bantam the cheque.How Calvin Kadi managed to score even 2 goals the entire season is beyond me, even though i actually witnessed him scoring most of them.Ogling young and old man will enjoy a home game at Wits.College Girls!A live match might not be a good idea, wives do watch soccer nowadays you know.
Speaking of celebrating after thrashing a lesser opposition, the Proteas were in action against the mighty Afghanstan army of cricketers.What a fight hey?What a fight!Well done lads!Who`s a choker now heh?heh?